So my parents don’t have a panic attack that I won’t settle down…ever and that I may actually end up with fish instead of a husband I am venturing back into the world of dating. I’ve tried online dating on and off for a few years now. I’ve met some nice people but have also met some complete nutters! what can I say, I’m just a freak magnet. I’m not all that convinced that online dating is the way to go for me but then my interests don’t really introduce me to an abundance of different people. Surprisingly with my charming personality and witty nature I’m not exactly what you would call a social butterfly.
Though not overly religious I have some things that are ingrained into me. Ideally would like to settle down with a Muslim guy as it would make life somewhat easier. Perhaps I’m reading too much into the whole religion side of things but that’s a blog for another day. My problem is meeting a Muslim guy who is on the same wavelength as me and not just saying what I want to hear at the time. Then right at the last minute (perhaps a few days before the wedding) lay down some ‘conditions’ of how they expect me to behave else the wedding is off? What makes them think that 1) I will be complying to their ‘conditions and 2) I won’t be telling them were to stuff it?
I’m not a great cook, one guy I went on a date with wasn’t too impressed with the fact my parents had sent me to university instead of having me learn to cook by stand by the cooker with my mum and watching her cook. Knowing this wasn’t going to go any further I came out with the comment that ‘baked beans are considered nutritious’, he actually looked horrified by the thought of coming home to a dinner of baked beans on toast instead of an of abundance freshly made curries..like his mum makes. Last time I checked I wasn’t his mum and had no desire to be like his mum.
The last one was a mummy’s boy as was this one. This date had his hoody up so I walked straight past him. Yes this guy was wearing a hoody. I understand he was meeting me whilst he was on his way to somewhere else but still I was hoping for a bit of an effort. (Ok I know I am being a bit unfair but do you know how long it takes to look good the older you get? A long time!) This date taught me to read the height section of the profile more closely. I’m not a tall person at all, but I remember him being a similar height to me, and I was wearing heels. Aside from having very little in common, he didn’t want someone who would be doing their makeup and painting their nails, something his sister in law did – all of which I was wearing. He then backtracked when he looked up from his coffee and took note of my, minimal looking, makeup and varnished nails. The final nail in the coffin for this date was when he said his mum was his best friend and he told her everything.
Why agree to meet this guy? From his profile he sounded nice, and other encourage me to ‘give it a go’.
People stretch the truth in profiles. The minute the alarm bells start ringing, I’m running!
Another guy decided to make me wait whilst he shopped. Once the date had actually started he proceeded to tell me how he hadn’t been in a relationship for more than 6 months because he got bored. Hmm he wondered why he was still single?
When he dropped me off to his car he hadn’t even waited for me to get out of the vehicle before he was on his phone. Recently I heard from this person again through an online messenger service asking if I was still single. I told a little white lie so he would go away. Yes, he is still single.
Money money money
I have had one guy actually say to me that perhaps I should give up kickboxing and find something that is less ‘life threatening’, all because I received a few bruises. You would have thought the clue is in the name…’kickboxing’. This was before he asked to ‘borrow’ money from me, bearing in mind we had only been in contact for about 1 month. Needless to say I am no longer speaking with him.
The deprived or is it depraved?
There are the ones who are deprived of human comfort, OK sex. They trap you with the nice emails, the minute you exchange numbers the torrid of personal questions and how they would like to pleasure you come pouring through. Then they wonder why you don’t want to speak with them and have blocked their number, email etc?
Read my profile
One of the most recent exchange of emails with a possible suitor has resulted in them asking the question, ‘You’re in Bromley right?’. Do you think this person had looked at my profile? Or if he couldn’t remember which part of the UK I lived in he would have had a look at my profile to see what it said before asking me? After no less than two emails that compromised of one sentence and that was about the weather he wanted to exchange phone numbers. Seeing as the person had not bothered to take the time to engage in email conversation I was in no hurry to hand over the precious digits. I could try and engage in conversation with this person via email but the sense of urgency to jump straight to the phone unnerves me.
Stalker / Fraudulent
Only this week I came across an extremely keen individual. He sent email after email through the dating website and questioned why I hadn’t replied back. He had sent about 4 emails in the space of 10 minutes. He was also insistent on wanting to speak on the phone. I am not comfortable with sharing my digits straight away. I have a private email address setup solely for the dating site, and a good thing too. I had passed on my email address to this person despite him being pushy about speaking on the phone. In the end I ignored any emails from him, at this point all his emails were through the dating website.
However I have recently received an email to my private email address from someone claiming they have been a victim of this man. That he registers on several dating sites, gives the impression that he is interested, meets your family then asks for money. The email was dubious in itself as the guy from the dating site apparently forwarded a copy of the email alert from the dating site to this person who claimed to be warning me. This alert did not contain details of my private email address. It gets even more odd, I had planned to block this guy and discovered his profile is also no longer exists on the website.
Always follow your initial instincts. I can’t deal with pushy people at the best of times, in many cases the warning alarm bells are ringing early on. The times I have ignored the warning signs have resulted in the experiences I have mentioned here.
These are just a handful of my experiences so far. I have to laugh about them, what else can I do. Crying is not an option as I don’t want to ruin my ‘minimal’ makeup 😉 I’m not in no way suggesting this only happens to women and that all men are from the weirdo pond. I have male friends who have had similar experiences, one or two of their possible suitors may have even come from the psycho pond. :-s
I still think pet fish is the way forward. Initially they can be a bit expensive, (tank, filters etc) but after that they don’t need much attention, take up little space depending on the size of the tank and when they eventually die, flush them down the toilet! 😀