I got the job!

As you have guessed from the title I got the job!

There were moments of self-doubt where I thought I might fall at the last hurdle, that all my hard work would have been for nothing and I would either end up the position I didn’t want or no job at all.

There have been moments of tears, laughter, high and low levels of confidence. Despite all the rollercoaster of emotions I am pleased to say that I didn’t stray from my goal, I knew what I wanted and that I was going to do what I needed to do to achieve it.

This is a bitter sweet moment for me. I have the position that I want but it also means going forward the new team is going to look very different. These changes do unsettle me and the next few months are going to be difficult. I will being saying bye to people who I see as a support system at work, made going to work fun and interesting and boosted each other’s confidence.

We are all at different points in our lives and through the restructure process have had to learn to adapt, and think about what these changes mean for each of us. As much as I would like to work with these people forever, that isn’t how the world and life in general works. To grow and evolve we sometimes need these out of the blue curve balls to give us the kick we need to stop coasting and go for what we really want, and if we don’t know what that is then take the time to find out. 

My future

It’s a daunting and exciting time for me.

I love what I do,  it’s just a bit overwhelming at the moment. There is going to be a lot of hard work to be done and some steep learning curves ahead but I think I’m ready.

It’s not even been a week and I have already been given new tasks that I hadn’t previously been involved in, learning to question, planning and organise a project / campaign in a logical manner instead of getting over excited and needing to be reigned in by someone senior, as now I am that senior person.

I still have a way to go in terms of my personal and skills development but then who is a perfect fit for every job they have ever applied for?

Travelling: I don’t like flying

Before I got married I wasn’t ever much of a traveller since then I have been fortunate to have travelled to some beautiful countries, Bali, Cambodia and have recently returned from a well deserved break to Thailand.

As much as I enjoyed spending time in these fantastic countries, I dislike flying for a number of reasons which I’ve outlined below. Personally I think I could have been more scathing but then this article could have turned into an essay.

Travel sickness

I have not ever been a great back seat driver, doesn’t matter the vehicle there is a good chance I will still become unwell, this is even with travel sickness tablets.

On the journey to Thailand I must have been in the toilet too long as the air stewardesses were knocking on the door.  I had become unwell and was trying to pull myself together before returning to my seat.

Food

I wouldn’t say I am a fussy eater but when it comes to flying I have learnt to take snacks with me on the plane as I cannot stomach plane food. Every time the food arrived Husband already knew I wouldn’t eat very much. Long plane journey and not eating a lot did worry Husband, but what he failed to understand is that I know my body and eating the reheated meal on a turbulent plane does not go down well with my stomach, see previous point.

In the end we came to an agreement that I would eat the fruit, yoghurt and bread roll, it seemed whatever the meal you were always giving those three food items, anything else was a bonus.

People

Along with plane food (unless you are in first / business class) this one is a common gripe.  I do wonder about the human race sometimes, I know I can be a bit vocal that Husband had to reign me in a few times but it only takes a few people to make a situation challenging.

We are all in the same situation, in economy, in the same small amount of space. So why is it necessary for the person behind me to dig their knees into the back of my seat, even if they are a similar height to me? I am 5.1 and was fortunate to have a reasonable amount of leg room, so there was no excuse as to why I would be digging my knees into the back of the seat in front of me. The same happened to Husband, it got to the point he had to speak with the person behind and ask them to be a bit more considerate. In husbands scenario what was the problem? They wanted to slouch in the seat as if they were in their own living room. Come on people use a bit of common sense, we are in economy with barely enough space to swing a cat let alone behave as if there is no one else around.

This may sound like a minor issue but when you are on a 13 hour flight you start to lose patience and understanding for the inconsiderate flyer.

Turbulence

Not to self, avoid the news when on holiday!

We flew Thai airways so of course two days before we are flying out Pakistan close their airspace forcing the air line to cancel their flights to Europe until they can find an alternative flight route. We were fortunate that all flights has resumed by the time it came for us to fly out to Thailand. We were checking that everything was still ok with our flight home and subsequently read the news reports about the recent air disasters.

So me being a novice flyer, every time the plane has a bit of turbulence and the seat belt light came on all that would come into my mind is how far were we from the nearest airport.

Me nerves were fried by the time we landed.

Future

Despite my woes when it comes to flying Husband is already planning our next holiday to another part of Asia. I can’t fault him as there are some beautiful countries, with interesting culture and history that are worth visiting.

I know that my relationship with flying is something I will have to come to terms with, it’s a case of deal with it if I want to ever want to travel outside the UK again.

It’s restructure time!

Department restructures are not ever an easy thing, they create tension, stress, and relationships can become strained.

I’m coming to the end stages of my teams restructure process, it has been emotionally and mentally drained me. In this restructure I am competing with my colleagues for the same positions. For the most part I enjoy my job but it doesn’t hurt to want a more & I now have the opportunity to apply for a promotion, which I have done.

It would be daft for me to pin all my hopes on this one job, what if it doesn’t work out, then what will I do? I have had to look at all my options and the changes I need to make, you don’t know when the next opportunity will land on your doorstep.

It’s not all doom and gloom

Yes going through a re-structure can be a negative experience, but it also has it’s benefits. In my case it has forced me to re-evaluate my personal objectives asking myself;

  • what is it that I want?
  • how do I go about getting it?

This process has helped me to get my mojo back, build confidence in myself and the work that I do. With this new found confidence I have been;

  • updating my cv
  • applying for jobs
  • working on my online presence
    • being more active on my Twitter and LinkedIn pages
    • reviving this neglected blog

It is hard work, and at times it does feel like I have two jobs, but it is important to keep the momentum going and remaining as consistent as possible.

When I’m tired and I think I can’t do anymore I like to remember;

  • have fun and enjoy what I do
  • be selective with the information I share online but not too stuffy. You don’t know what shared interest will open the door to your next job
  • comment and like other peoples posts
  • be myself and let my dry sense of humour shine through
  • be patient, everything takes time
  • don’t be too hard on myself, if I don’t have time to write a blog article one week then that’s ok, it’s not the end of the world
  • aim high and keep moving forward with a smile

I’ve had the interview it’s now wait for the outcome, fingers crossed.

Staff awards

At work last week was the annual staff awards ceremony; Quality Awards.

This event is organised and run by the Communications team, the team I am a part Quality Awards 2019 207of. Guess what, this year the HR and Communications nominated for the Chair award for the work that had been done to recruit and retain staff. I am pleased to say that we won ‘Highly Commended’. This is a huge achievement and it’s just nice to be recognised for the hard work and effort of everyone involved.

These awards are about the staff across the whole Trust, recognising and appreciating their hard work and dedication to their colleagues and their patients.

  • individuals and teams are nominated by their colleagues and patients
  • it is funded with sponsorship money, usually from companies who we have worked with such as printing companies

Quality Awards 2019 023It’s an amazing evening where staff can dress up and mingle with staff from different parts of the Trust, put names to faces and overall have an enjoyable evening. Plus everyone who attended loved the obligatory hand clappers.

Despite all this positivity it can be a bit disheartening when you hear some of the negative comments about the evening, how it is about the Executive team and that money for services had been used to fund the awards.

I understand why some people have reacted the way they have to the staff awards, it doesn’t help when the media focuses on the staff shortages, lack of funding for essential services and generally how the NHS is failing.
Despite all this, the hard working staff deserved the awards evening and the joy you see on their faces when they received their awards was priceless.

I’ve been converted!

I have got a new toy, a Kindle!

Kindle 2_rotatedI was one of those people who were loyal to the trusted paperback, I love my books, to the dismay of my husband I have a book case full of them. Occasionally they find their way on the floor by the side of the bed, I don’t have a bedside cabinet.

Husband is a minimalist and has referred to my book collection as ‘clutter’, lets just say that was the first and the last time he has referred to my collection as clutter.

It had been on my mind for some time whether to buy one or not. Amazon was offering a discount so I decided to take the plunge and I haven’t regretted it.

Travelling is where the Kindle has come in handy. Where I would be restricted by the number of books I could fit in my luggage I now have a reading selection at my fingertips. The product is

  • lightweight
  • very thin
  • long lasting battery
  • being a klutz I bought the waterproof version.

My only issue is the cost of some of the books available as an eBook. I haven’t bought a book at its normal retail price for a long time instead opting to buy from charity shops.

Kindle Library  was ok but I could only borrow and return 1 book a month, not sure if this is related to the Kindle subscription; Kindle Unlimited which I haven’t signed up to.

Free books are available to download. I have tried a few of these and they haven’t disappointed, one way to discover some new authors.

99p books are much like the free selection. A good way to discover new authors without breaking the bank.

PDF format. I friend told me about this, I can Google the books that I want in PDF format, download and email to my Kindle. When viewing the file on the Kindle the layout may differ but not a huge amount.

I will always like a paperback / hardback book, there is something about the holding a physical book that a Kindle can’t mimic but this electronic device does come close.

Employers; Are you missing out on a talented autistic employee?

16% of autistic adults are in full-time paid employment

Employers want capable, talented employees but in this day and age they must know they are missing out on one part of society? Those with autism may lack the ability to sell themselves, do not have the same social skills as others and questions need to be direct and clear. But they are also hardworking, talented, creative people that deserve to have the same opportunity as others. Not everyone is suitable for mainstream employment but isn’t it time that the recruitment process is given an overhaul so those on the spectrum who can work and want to work are given that option?

It’s no secret my own brother has Asperger’s and a degree in graphics and animation. Like my brother many people with autism struggle to find suitable employment. Those diagnosed with Asperger’s will understand and can relate to my brother in the sense that he doesn’t have the same social skills as you and I. He doesn’t make eye contact when speaking, his expression and his tone of voice can be a bit monotone, unless you tap into something he is passionate about then he becomes quite animated even throwing in the odd witty comment.
He is currently working with a fantastic group called Signpost that are helping him re-write his CV, write job applications, helping him prepare for interviews as well as boosting his confidence. I know that with the support he is receiving he will eventually be successful. He has a great work ethic, is creative and hardworking,  the concern will then be the interview stage. My hope is that potential employers will do their research and adapt their interview process.

The National Autistic Society has some useful interview tips and advice for employing someone with autism, from creating the right job advert through to the interview stage. Interviews can be a daunting experience, so imagine how someone with autism will feel.

A solution for one parent was to create his own company that only employs people with autism, Auticon. Formerly known as Mindspark, was created by Gray Benoist, a parent of two autistic sons who saw the lack of employment options for them so decided to take matters into his own hands.

Our mission is about enabling a group who have been disenfranchised. There are many segments of society that are under-utilised and people on the autistic spectrum are one of them

In the UK two autistic brothers decided to change their employment situation by opening their own comic book shop. It wasn’t an easy task to begin with but with the support of their family the business is still going.

My aim is to not vilify employers but this is an ongoing problem and concern. Despite all the education, knowledge out there, groups emphasising that in the right environment autistic people can thrive we are still in this position. It’s a different world we are living in now, many people don’t work 9-5 they work hours to suit the demands of the company and to accommodate their lifestyle for a better work life balance plus the option to work remotely. So if companies can adapt to these changes then why not adapt to employ people with autism?

This isn’t an easy task and not even something all companies can invest in, but it is down to all of us to get the best out of people. Sometimes a bit of kindness, understanding and time can make all the difference. Put a bit of effort into investing in people and you’ll be surprised by the positive results.

Shine the light on me

Last weekend the husband’s family had arranged a prayer at the temple for his nieces’ birthday followed by a celebration of Lohri at home. All sounds simple, don’t need to dress over the top to sit in a house of god right…wrong!

It has been 6 months since I have been married but am still thought of a new bride whom the mother in law wanted to introduce and show off to others. Something I am not comfortable with, on previous occasions there has been a silent battle as I have chosen to wear something appropriate for the occasion, still looking nice just according to ‘others’ who these others are I don’t know, I don’t look like a new bride. lohri imageThis time you all would have been impressed, I dressed as if I was going to a wedding whilst others who attended wore clothes and accessories that were less in your face some even came in jeans and a jumper and had a shawl to cover their head.

I wore an outfit that sparkled and shined with matching accessories, my makeup was full on from primer, foundation to copious amounts of powder that it did not budge all day and evening. I have to say even I was impressed with how my hair and makeup turned out. Excuse the reflection of husband while he took my picture.

Fake it until you make it people that was the mantra of the day.

I am happy to be left alone in a corner on this occasion I plastered a smile on my face as I was introduced to aunties who’s names and faces I won’t remember but if nothing else I was making a good impression with even one aunties looking at me and saying ‘nice, very nice’. High to five to me.

Back at home where Lohri was being celebrated I put on a hoodie for the bonfire which the older ladies sung and danced to. A little bit of background to Lohri in the words of Wikipedia;

Lohri is the celebration of the arrival of longer days after the winter solstice

 In this case the mother in law was saying it’s a celebration of mine and husband getting married. Who would have thought there would be so much attention on us two just for getting married, lucky us. Once the bonfire part was over, I was back in jeans and a jumper feeling more myself again.

Overall it was a nice day and hopefully the ‘new bride’ title will be passed onto someone who is actually a new bride. I am not interested in other people’s opinions or whether I should still look like a bride, as far as I am concerned that is old news now. People were asking when they will hear the pitter patter of little feet, me and husband have decided they must be thinking we are getting another puppy.

A spoonful of sugar…

The sugar lies on the black background
Image created by V.ivash – Freepik.com

New Year always brings new goals and aspirations that for the average person don’t usually last past February.

Which is why two work colleagues and I decided to take part in the Staff Engagement team’s New Year New You challenge that takes place over January, one month is enough for us. Each week the Staff Engagement team issues weekly challenges with prizes at the end. We were issued our first task, 7 January where we had to record our sugar intake; this included both natural and refined sugars with a limit of 30g of sugar per day, going by how the week went I doubt we’ll be winning any prizes!

This is not as easy as you think, my diet isn’t the worst but it could also could be better.

Monday was the start of this educational week. Ate my usual breakfast of peanut butter on toast, with banana and honey. I thought it was healthy. Then I got hungry an ate a Muller fruit corner yoghurt.sugar_new year new you

The banana had 12g of sugar, a banana! Muller fruit corner yoghurt contained 14g. Good think I opted for peppermint tea was fine and not my usual of caffeinated tea with milk and two sugars.

Afternoon snack was an apple,15g, that’s it I was done I had exceed the limit! Not chocolates, not cake but fruit had pushed me over the edge and maybe the muller yoghurt had something to do with it.

That was pretty much how the rest of the week went.

Fast forward to Friday when I drank a homemade protein milkshake, I didn’t even think there would be sugar in milk, how wrong was I. According to Google 1 cup of semi skimmed milk contains 12g of sugar. Team that up with the banana and two frozen strawberries I was already nearing the set 30g daily limit. I can’t wait for this challenge to be over.

Overall looking at what I ate in a day did have some benefits; I noticed that the majority of the sugar I was eating was natural sugars from fruit. I rarely drink caffeine tea these days but when I do I have 2 teaspoons of sugar with it plus milk.  Even then it wasn’t enough refined sugar that I risked having a sugar crash later in the day.

I do think that with the daily exercises I wasn’t eating enough which might be why i was feeling tired and having headaches. That won’t be happening again, making sure I have plenty to eat throughout the day.

Let’s see if I do any better in the next challenge.

Trousers are a bit tight

Since getting married I have noticed my trousers have been getting that little bit tighter. I know that we are all loved up, happy and comfortable but I do prefer to be able to breath after eating.

I’m not one to monitor my calories or obsess about the scales but since getting married I have noticed my trousers have been getting that little bit tighter. I know that we are all loved up, happy and comfortable but I do prefer to be able to breath after eating. Fortunately, I’ve not ever been overweight but the past year the weight has been creeping up with those trousers getting a tad bit tighter that I can get away with not doing the hidden buttons up.

Three weeks ago I started a some high intensity interval training workouts which I do on alternate days to the kickboxing YouTube videos by Jessica Smith.

I’ve tried the Plank workout by Emi Wong, afterwards it took me two days to be able to cough without my abdominals aching. You think I would have stopped here but no, a day later I did the Low impact HIIT Cardio workout by Joanna Soh, don’t let the title fool you, I still haven’t managed to complete the entire routine. I get to the second to last move then collapse. In both cases after the workout I ended up needing to lay down thankfully not in the recovery position but to;

  • let my body figure out how to breath normally again
  • allow my vision to return to normal from all the sweat

fitness clothes_v2The husband has also gained a few pounds but is not willing to partake in the morning workouts before work. So we have decided to go on weekend family jogs / speed walking for the dog. Wearing our new trainers and joint supports we started last Saturday were surprised that we managed a mile. This was also with the dog stopping to sniff at every blade of grass, and peeing at every tree trunk to mark his territory. I think the dog was pacing us he knew we need the jog on the spot breaks to break us into this brave new world.

Laugh all you want at my suffering yet despite the sore muscles I have noticed a change in how I feel; more energised and hungrier. My trousers have started to feel a bit looser, enough that I can now do all the buttons up!

8 year old drag queen

Many people, myself included used to get confused about the difference between being a drag queen and being transgender, they are not the same. Through a bit of research the way it has been explained is that a drag queen is a character that is played whereas a transgender is a way of life, part of that person’s identity.

No that has been cleared up what I want to discuss with you all is a bit of a sensitive subject and there are a few people that won’t agree with it but at least it will get us talking. I read about a family in Montreal where the mum is supporting her eight year old son as he embraces his drag queen alter ego ‘Lacaticia’. The young drag queen is already finding stage success having already appeared on stage with drag queen Bianca del Rio. Some could argue that the mum is being a bad parent by allowing her young son to behave this way or that the child is being sexualised and allowed to venture into what is considered an adult environment, but what harm is he really doing to himself and others? The mum and son must have a great relationship with each other that he felt comfortable enough to be so open with his mum about how he was feeling.

Don't panicI’m not a parent but this situation has got me thinking about how easy it is for me to say, ‘what’s the harm, the child is happy, the family is happy, live and let live’ but would I feel the same if it was my child who at such a young age decided they wanted to be a drag queen or say the age of 4 decided they were trapped in the wrong body and wanted to be the opposite gender? How would I react, would I be the supportive parent or the one that despite loving their child is now embarrassed by this declaration and direction in life they want to take? I would like to think that to some degree I would be relaxed about it, I probably would have a little freak out but more about how the handle the situation without the child feeling like they are doing something wrong or that there is something wrong with them. Culturally there might be a few questions from other people but change has to start somewhere.

self-esteem-1566153_1280_webIf you have read any of my previous posts you’ll know that I am fascinated by drag queens and there is a lot we can learn from them, from the way they do their makeup, how they carry themselves, yes they are crude at times but some of them have also had to go through a lot of different life experiences and hardship to get where they are. They are resilient and highlight the importance to be yourself and confident even when it feels like the world is against you. Ru Pauls drag show contestants are adults but they too were once children who went through the many experiences and emotions that some transgender children face today, though as a society we are trying to be more open and accepting change is not that easy and there are some countries that are in no hurry to accept that drag queens, homosexuals, transgender people etc should be allowed to live in peace.

Saying all this could the gradual changes in views and opinions the reason behind the increase in the number of children being referred to the only gender identity clinic in the UK?

The figures, from London’s Tavistock and Portman NHS foundation trust, show that in the year ending March 2016, 1,398 people used the service, compared with 697 the year before.

There are increased media reports and programmes following children through their day to day life as they transition, some delaying puberty with medication to live as the opposite gender, although  doctors can prescribe gender changing hormones to children as young as 12 depending on the situation. Is this the right approach, the article I read does provide a compelling reason behind the decision to allow children start gender changing treatment much earlier than the agreed age of 16.

As adults and roles of parents we are expected to guide and encourage the future generations to be decent human beings. But what do you do when your child comes to about such an adult topic, they are playing with Barbie and GI Joe dolls (This could have changed but that is what kids played with when I was young) but what if GI Joe wants to become GI Jane and Barbie has decided she is more of a Ken doll?

Sources

The Guardian: gender identity clinic
The story of two transgender children
RuPaul’s Drag Race