8 year old drag queen

Many people, myself included used to get confused about the difference between being a drag queen and being transgender, they are not the same. Through a bit of research the way it has been explained is that a drag queen is a character that is played whereas a transgender is a way of life, part of that person’s identity.

No that has been cleared up what I want to discuss with you all is a bit of a sensitive subject and there are a few people that won’t agree with it but at least it will get us talking. I read about a family in Montreal where the mum is supporting her eight year old son as he embraces his drag queen alter ego ‘Lacaticia’. The young drag queen is already finding stage success having already appeared on stage with drag queen Bianca del Rio. Some could argue that the mum is being a bad parent by allowing her young son to behave this way or that the child is being sexualised and allowed to venture into what is considered an adult environment, but what harm is he really doing to himself and others? The mum and son must have a great relationship with each other that he felt comfortable enough to be so open with his mum about how he was feeling.

Don't panicI’m not a parent but this situation has got me thinking about how easy it is for me to say, ‘what’s the harm, the child is happy, the family is happy, live and let live’ but would I feel the same if it was my child who at such a young age decided they wanted to be a drag queen or say the age of 4 decided they were trapped in the wrong body and wanted to be the opposite gender? How would I react, would I be the supportive parent or the one that despite loving their child is now embarrassed by this declaration and direction in life they want to take? I would like to think that to some degree I would be relaxed about it, I probably would have a little freak out but more about how the handle the situation without the child feeling like they are doing something wrong or that there is something wrong with them. Culturally there might be a few questions from other people but change has to start somewhere.

self-esteem-1566153_1280_webIf you have read any of my previous posts you’ll know that I am fascinated by drag queens and there is a lot we can learn from them, from the way they do their makeup, how they carry themselves, yes they are crude at times but some of them have also had to go through a lot of different life experiences and hardship to get where they are. They are resilient and highlight the importance to be yourself and confident even when it feels like the world is against you. Ru Pauls drag show contestants are adults but they too were once children who went through the many experiences and emotions that some transgender children face today, though as a society we are trying to be more open and accepting change is not that easy and there are some countries that are in no hurry to accept that drag queens, homosexuals, transgender people etc should be allowed to live in peace.

Saying all this could the gradual changes in views and opinions the reason behind the increase in the number of children being referred to the only gender identity clinic in the UK?

The figures, from London’s Tavistock and Portman NHS foundation trust, show that in the year ending March 2016, 1,398 people used the service, compared with 697 the year before.

There are increased media reports and programmes following children through their day to day life as they transition, some delaying puberty with medication to live as the opposite gender, although  doctors can prescribe gender changing hormones to children as young as 12 depending on the situation. Is this the right approach, the article I read does provide a compelling reason behind the decision to allow children start gender changing treatment much earlier than the agreed age of 16.

As adults and roles of parents we are expected to guide and encourage the future generations to be decent human beings. But what do you do when your child comes to about such an adult topic, they are playing with Barbie and GI Joe dolls (This could have changed but that is what kids played with when I was young) but what if GI Joe wants to become GI Jane and Barbie has decided she is more of a Ken doll?

Sources

The Guardian: gender identity clinic
The story of two transgender children
RuPaul’s Drag Race

Would you pick the same career as your mum?

I saw this article published on The Guardian website, ‘Would you consider following in your mum’s career footsteps?
The article focused on working mothers who now either work with their daughters or the daughters have ended up in jobs within the same industry.

This got me thinking, there are many mums like my own who were stay at home parents. As was the Asian culture then and for many still is true today my mum married and started a family at a young age. A career whilst raising a family was not something she considered. This was not something she wanted for her children from such a young age, mostly because she wanted her children to be financially independent.

Despite my mum being a stay at home parent that isn’t to say she wasn’t able to pass on skills and knowledge that would benefit us kids as we went out into the working world.

I’ve used mums as that was the parents the article focused on but in reality  these can apply to either parent especially as there are a number of stay at home dads.

Networking was going on long before the internet and social media exploded onto the scene. Our parents were networking at the school gates with other parents whilst waiting to pick us up.

Project management and organisational skills.
Meeting deadlines such as;
o Making sure homework is completed
o Letters/forms are returned
o Remembering and attending appointments
o Ferrying each child to and from one after school activity to another

In some cases they were / are also accountants.
Managing the incoming and outgoing finances of the household. Budgeting to ensure the essentials were there, bills were paid, anything else was considered a luxury. Hoping their financial acumen is passed down to their children who will have (hopefully) learnt to manage their finances.

Multitasking and the ability to stay calm under pressure. When chaos is taking over the house and still being able to cook a family meal.

The original article did a good job of discussing how children may look to their parents to decide which career they would like to pursue. However just because a parent doesn’t work doesn’t mean a career path isn’t forged from the transferable skills their child / children learnt from their stay at home parent.

 

Smile, you’re on camera :-D

A few weeks ago some muppet(s) decided to scare the living daylights out of my housemate and throw a rock through my living room window. Who knows why it happened and the police, well let’s say since they came and took a statement from housemate #1 (they had to send someone round as she was at home alone and wouldn’t get off the phone till someone arrived) I haven’t heard from them.

This weekend thanks to my sister’s husband and a friend, a security camera facing the front door went up .  I am going to get one for the back of the house but hopefully this one will be a good deterrent for any future muppet wannabe’s.

The camera itself is impressive but then I am easily pleased. It took a bit of getting used to seeing the front of the house on the monitor screen, almost a little bit spooky. Like housemate #2 put it, it could be a scene out of the movie paranormal activity, then we saw a cat casually walking past and the spooky moment was lost.

Whilst the male DIY session to put the camera up was going on, at one or two points I did nearly have a heart attack as the drill got precariously close to some of the heating pipes, I made cupcakes. My sister was round with the demon nephews. Nephew #2 is in full on crawling mode and getting everywhere, I may have to child proof my house, bubble wrap it is!

I tried out two different cupcake recipes, one was a molten chocolate cupcake, the other cinnamon chocolate. The molten chocolate cupcake tasted better warm as the chocolate pieces in the centre was all melted and gooey. The cinnamon cupcake was nice but I think it needed something, maybe walnuts to break up the strong cinnamon taste, or use less cinnamon.

My sister with her entourage popped over to my parents’ house afterwards as my house was lacking in decent kiddie friendly food, apparently chocolate and cake was not suitable for dinner. Whilst at the parents I heard from our youngest sister that nephew #1 wouldn’t let nephew #2 play with a toy. Nephew #2 decided he is not taking any of this rubbish climbed over nephew #1 then what I am told appeared to put nephew #1 in a headlock and as nephew #2 tried to crawl forward it looked like he was kneeing nephew #1. Hmm think my sister is going to have to keep a close eye on her demon children.

The male DIY session continues this weekend. Time got away, so tidying up the cables is going take place this Saturday. In return I will be attempting to cook dinner. Good thing parents only live 10 minutes away just in case! 😉