8 year old drag queen

Many people, myself included used to get confused about the difference between being a drag queen and being transgender, they are not the same. Through a bit of research the way it has been explained is that a drag queen is a character that is played whereas a transgender is a way of life, part of that person’s identity.

No that has been cleared up what I want to discuss with you all is a bit of a sensitive subject and there are a few people that won’t agree with it but at least it will get us talking. I read about a family in Montreal where the mum is supporting her eight year old son as he embraces his drag queen alter ego ‘Lacaticia’. The young drag queen is already finding stage success having already appeared on stage with drag queen Bianca del Rio. Some could argue that the mum is being a bad parent by allowing her young son to behave this way or that the child is being sexualised and allowed to venture into what is considered an adult environment, but what harm is he really doing to himself and others? The mum and son must have a great relationship with each other that he felt comfortable enough to be so open with his mum about how he was feeling.

Don't panicI’m not a parent but this situation has got me thinking about how easy it is for me to say, ‘what’s the harm, the child is happy, the family is happy, live and let live’ but would I feel the same if it was my child who at such a young age decided they wanted to be a drag queen or say the age of 4 decided they were trapped in the wrong body and wanted to be the opposite gender? How would I react, would I be the supportive parent or the one that despite loving their child is now embarrassed by this declaration and direction in life they want to take? I would like to think that to some degree I would be relaxed about it, I probably would have a little freak out but more about how the handle the situation without the child feeling like they are doing something wrong or that there is something wrong with them. Culturally there might be a few questions from other people but change has to start somewhere.

self-esteem-1566153_1280_webIf you have read any of my previous posts you’ll know that I am fascinated by drag queens and there is a lot we can learn from them, from the way they do their makeup, how they carry themselves, yes they are crude at times but some of them have also had to go through a lot of different life experiences and hardship to get where they are. They are resilient and highlight the importance to be yourself and confident even when it feels like the world is against you. Ru Pauls drag show contestants are adults but they too were once children who went through the many experiences and emotions that some transgender children face today, though as a society we are trying to be more open and accepting change is not that easy and there are some countries that are in no hurry to accept that drag queens, homosexuals, transgender people etc should be allowed to live in peace.

Saying all this could the gradual changes in views and opinions the reason behind the increase in the number of children being referred to the only gender identity clinic in the UK?

The figures, from London’s Tavistock and Portman NHS foundation trust, show that in the year ending March 2016, 1,398 people used the service, compared with 697 the year before.

There are increased media reports and programmes following children through their day to day life as they transition, some delaying puberty with medication to live as the opposite gender, although  doctors can prescribe gender changing hormones to children as young as 12 depending on the situation. Is this the right approach, the article I read does provide a compelling reason behind the decision to allow children start gender changing treatment much earlier than the agreed age of 16.

As adults and roles of parents we are expected to guide and encourage the future generations to be decent human beings. But what do you do when your child comes to about such an adult topic, they are playing with Barbie and GI Joe dolls (This could have changed but that is what kids played with when I was young) but what if GI Joe wants to become GI Jane and Barbie has decided she is more of a Ken doll?

Sources

The Guardian: gender identity clinic
The story of two transgender children
RuPaul’s Drag Race

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What can you learn from a drag queen?

I’ve recently discovered RuPaul’s Drag Race on Netflix and I am hooked! The programme is a take on America’s Top Model but the Queens make their own outfits which are phenomenal especially when teamed up with the sometimes outrageous wigs and disgustingly high heels that make me want to scrunch my toes from imagining the pain.

These ladies have skill, imagination and big personalities to match. It is fascinating to watch seeing how these men turn themselves into women from their makeup to their figures, everything gets all tucked away, a bit of padding here and there, use of chest plates and voila! In some cases you can’t even tell they work born male, the transformation is that good.

The Queens who starred on the show were over the top dramatic they would refer to themselves and call each other ‘bitch’ but it wasn’t necessarily to be unkindest ‘bitch’ can also be an acronym for babe in total control of herself. The tones used were playful and teasing but secretly they all wanted their competition to crash and burn in the challenges and on the runway so they could win.

Behind the layers of foundation and reams of tape used there is a serious undertone. The show always ends with the line ‘ If you can’t love yourself then how the hell are you going to love anyone else? ‘ which I think is a very important message. Many of the contestants have gone through emotional ups and downs, personal tragedy and experiences. Being unhappy and disliking yourself can have a negative effect on an individual’s mental health and wellbeing, some of the contestants touched upon the topic of suicide. There is a lot we can learn from these Queens and apply some of their attitude to everyday life.

Be yourself

untitledHow many of us have tried to change ourselves just to please others or to ‘fit in’ an environment that wasn’t really suited to us to begin with, it was just something we thought we had to do?

Many of the contestants have gone through difficult, painful experiences.

  • Some either no longer speaking with their families who don’t approve, don’t understand their lifestyle choices or the fear of being disowned once their family find out the truth about them.
  • They have suffered physical and emotional abuse from family members and random people.
  • Eating disorders
  • Joining gangs
  • Hating themselves by being an angry gay, one constant on the show said he was an angry gay, just angry for being the way he was and he looked fantastic as a woman; Carmen Carrera

Yet despite all of this they have learned to accept and corny as it sounds love themselves. Eventually you will find the slot you fit into and if you don’t then you create one where others will see you shine.

Inspire yourself and others

Our life experiences, the good and the bad help shape the person we become. We all fall down but there is strength in how you get back up to be happy, content and be where you want to be in life.unleash inner dag

For some of contestants this show was a platform to tell their story, to inspire others to take risks and be themselves. It’s ok to be scared, not everyone will always agree with the choices you to make as long as you are confident in those decisions.

Looking at these Queens, their diva attitude and fighting spirits you can’t but feel inspired to channel your own inner drag queen to be the best that you can be.

Be supportive

We all have our strengths and weaknesses and need a bit of help to pick ourselves up when we fall down. Behind all the sniping there is a team spirit, in group challenges contestants helping each other with their makeup, helping to put a dress together as not all the Queens were a great with a sewing needle and thread, many opting to use a hot glue gun.

Helping each other and being supportive is how we also we learn new things and see things from a different perspective. I would rather help someone feel confident about themselves rather than try to break them.

It’s one thing to get ahead, but get there on your own merits and hard work, not by stepping on other people. Remember the people you upset on your way up that ladder could be the same people you see on your way down.