My brother; Graduation, Asperger’s and finding a job!

My youngest brother graduated last year with a degree in animation. We are all so proud of him, not only because he got a degree but also because my brother has dyslexia and Asperger’s. Due to the Asperger’s my brother has difficulty socialising, talking with people he doesn’t know and understanding things like sarcasm. However saying this I think University has done him some good as well as the book club for austic people organised and run by the team at SEPT he attends once a month. He is still shy but when we are at his graduation where once before he would have come and found his family afterwards we couldn’t find him anywhere! He was off having pictures with his class and saying bye to them, this is a big deal. When he saw us, me and our youngest sister sent him back to talk with the rest of the people on his course and to take his time. This may come as a bit of a surprise be me and my youngest sister can be a bit embarrassing for him so we kept our distance…it’s only because we care.
With the book club, there is either a book or a theme for topic of discussion; one week was about comic books, another was about Guy Fawkes. Some sessions my brother interacts more sometimes less all depending on the topic and his knowledge of it, but more importantly he spends time with people who are not his family.

Next steps for my brother is to find a job and to pass his driving test, in all fairness it is a lot more difficult to pass your driving test nowadays. I passed my driving test over 20 years ago, if I had to take my test I would probably fail even before we left the test centre car park!

Finding a job is where the whole new experience is a bit daunting for him and his confidence levels, depending on his mood can be a bit low. I honestly do not know how my brother would handle an interview and those experiences can be daunting enough for those of us who are considered ‘normal’.  Those of you who think he maybe sitting around on his PlayStation he isn’t, one thing my brother isn’t is lazy. He has been improving his existing skills and learning new techniques with the aid of online tutorials. He’s always updating his Tumblr & Facebook accounts with latest bits of design work. Question is how do we get employers get past the social hurdles and the need to ‘sell’ himself to see the potential he has?

Whilst doing a bit of research for this blog piece I came across the website The National Autistic Society which has a page called advice about work. This site has some useful information, advice and tips that could benefit both a job seeker with autism and an employer with staff members who have autism. I also want to highlight that employers are potentially missing out on a diligent workforce because they are unable to think outside of the box.

We are seeing a lot in the media lately about the lack of mental health support available because of lack of funding but also because there still those who live in a bubble where if something doesn’t fit the cookie cutter mould then they can’t work with them. It is those people that cannot see beyond those boundaries to see the diamond hidden in the coal.

If anyone does see the same potential in my brother that his family do then contact him through his Tumblr page just remember he’s not going to fit a uniform mould but has qualities & talent that some of us ‘normal’ people could dream of having.

The Art of a Job Interview When You Have Asperger’s
The National Autistic Society; Advice about work
On mental health, the Tories need to put their money where their mouths are
Young people’s mental health services in the UK need cash not empty promises

Bread making challenge

I’m trying to expand my baking repertoire my also making bread, sweet and savoury.  I’m not yet an expert, I do have my mum’s bread machine but I trying to learn to make bread from scratch as well. I’ve mentioned before my youngest sister is not really a fan of cake, even though she is the one who has requested I make her a 3D cake version of Pride Rock from The Lion King for her next birthday!

Last year she had a brownie cake with cream filling. This year she opted for an ice bun ‘cake’. I had practiced this recipe and design before and made a few changes the second time I made it. I reduced the sugar slightly and made the icing a bit thicker so it didn’t slide down the sides of the buns. I was pleased with the taste of the buns and design but the icing needs some work. I may try baking the buns into different shapes to see how they turn out and tweaking the recipe a little bit more next time. I also may have left some of the buns to prove a bit too long, another thing to remember next time I make this dough.

I’m going to keep at the bread baking learning, although it does take some time I do like the end results especially when it turns right!

Internship; Paid / Unpaid

My youngest sister started her internship this week working for an online clothing hire company. So far she is enjoying it and the people seem nice.

This is an unpaid with part of her expenses paid, as in her travel.

My sister is fortunate enough to also have a weekend job, she’ll be working flat out 6 days, for a few weeks but at the end of it she will hopefully have some insight into the business and a different side to the fashion industry.

The debate of a paid or an unpaid internship is a double-edged sword.

There are many graduates out there who don’t have any other source of income so is it fair to really offer unpaid internships with the promise of gaining work experience that can almost be more valuable than a degree alone? This also then raises the whole class divide with the premise that unpaid internship are accessible by the majority of those who come from wealthy backgrounds.

The other concern is the quality of the internship? Will the responsibilities of the intern allow them to gain an insight to the industry and experience they need to help them find suitable employment when they graduate? Or is it a case of employing an intern and using them as a gopher, a source of free labour?

I don’t doubt there are many companies use interns as both, free labour and also providing them valuable work experience. It’s the ones who take advantage of interns and misuse them that need to be stopped.

Are unpaid internships illegal?

If an intern is to be treated as a full time employee, given responsibilities of a full time employee then should they not be entitled to the wage of a full time employee?

It all depends on the length of the internship and the wording used by the employer. You can find more information on the gov.uk website.

Unpaid internships have been attracting a lot of attention from universities, students, recruiters and the government. On one hand MP’s like many others want the practice of unpaid internship to be paid illegal. Others are proposing to not outright ban this practice as they fear it could do more harm to the career prospects of graduates instead of opting to introduce ‘a charter to ensure fair treatment for young people doing work experience rather than a ban on unpaid internships.’

From a moral standpoint unpaid internships with a small monetary incentive labelled as expenses shouldn’t be allowed but with the employment future for many graduates looking bleak any experience paid or unpaid could be the difference between working in the sector they study three years+ for or ending up in an unskilled job.

Crash, Bang, Clean Car and Cake!

Though the sun was shining my weekend was 50 / 50.

No more than 10 minutes after leaving work I received a phone call my sister had been in a car accident! She is feeling the after effects now but otherwise is ok, she has been given some painkillers by the doctor at A&E.

We’re not sure about the survival chances of the car just yet. Everything is going through insurance so will see what the outcome is likely to be, the other party shouldn’t dispute anything as they were the ones at fault. They had not seen my sister’s car and continued to enter the road resulting in the accident.

Friday I had a case of the sneezes and watery eyes, I had hoped it was hay fever. I should be so lucky! Little did I know the sneezes and watery eyes were the beginning of a cold, no thanks to the evil air con that plagues my side of the office.

Despite my developing cold, come Saturday I still looked like I belonged to the human race (make up is a brilliant thing!) and a small miracle happened. Thanks to my youngest brother the inside of my car was cleaned. I forgot to take pictures otherwise you would seen just how bad it was. I can’t remember the last time the inside of my car was hovered, dust was wiped down, I honestly thought it was going to be an impossible task. But my brother took the hoover and did an excellent job!

In the process of car clean up I found

–          4 pairs of shoes

–          1 pair of boots

–          2 shawls

–          A pair of jogging bottoms

–          1 rain coat

–          The shovel I put in the car from the last snow we had in the UK

–          A pair of worn out, torn boxing gloves, these went in the bin

While I was on a roll and craving something sweet I attempted some vegan chocolate cupcakes. For a first attempt they were ok, tasted much better with ice cream 🙂

Sunday the germs took full effect. I would have stayed in bed only the boiler guy was meant to be coming then I was going to my parents for a family barbeque. However the boiler guy didn’t turn up! I texted and phoned him then received a text message with a lame excuse, to be honest I think he forgot!

A builder was also meant to be coming to give me a quote for the shed, he was also a no show!

The boiler guy did come the following evening so I will let that go. The shed builder was meant to come that evening as well, again no show. I’m going to find someone else to come and give mwe a quote.

At the moment I am a recovering master of germs! The battle of the air con continues, the war will only be won when the evil spawn of cold and potential dusty, polluted air has been ripped out! I’m told this will be happening at some point this year, until then, I am going to have to dress like an eskimo for a work!

Ban the scales!

My youngest sister said to me that ‘she has realised she is fat’. My youngest sister isn’t fat by any means, she has shape but not fat! As the sun burst through the rainy clothes to show its face I can imagine there will be lots of people thinking the same as my sister.

I have offered to go to the gym with her but she isn’t ready to go yet instead opting to do some exercise at home every night using an exercise bike, sometimes also using a stepper and weights. I’ve suggested kickboxing as it also helps boost your confidence…once you get past the throwing up stage. 😉 I was met with a resounding

Exercising is good but I think the main culprit is she eats out a lot. She is going to think about what she orders in restaurants and how she can mix it up so she has a semi healthy meal. Don’t want to go too crazy, remember the words of Homer Simpson ‘You don’t make friends with salad’. 😉

Weighing scales are misleading and evil!

It’s good to know what your starting weight is before you decide to go on a health kick but don’t get obsessed with the numbers. As you exercise and change your eating habit so will body will change accordingly, you’ll burn fat and develop muscle. I don’t own any scales and if am desperate to check my weight which isn’t often I’ll use my parents scales. Otherwise I check my weight by how tight my clothes get. If I can’t breathe whilst wearing my jeans then it’s time to put the share bag crisps for one down and slip in an extra kickboxing class.

Let’s face it, we’ve all gone through phases where we’re not entirely happy with how we look, I still have days, usually when I’m feeling a bit hormonal’ where I’ll be arrgghh  where did that facial line come from? Then I’ll realise it’s part of the so called laughter lines, what can I say I like laughing. 😀 My sister has excellent fashion sense and I’m pretty sure most of New Look is in her bedroom. But I can’t pull off her look, I just look like a little girl playing dress up!

My sister is young and will hopefully reach a point in life where she’ll be comfortable enough to say ‘stuff what anyone says I’m a cutie and I know it!’

My mean sister

Bit of background. I am the eldest of 5 kids and have end up being the shortest, I think I’m about 5ft. 

A little while back my youngest sister visited Colchester Zoo and bought me this from the gift shop, she found it hilarious. Read the text on the pencil…I can stand about as tall as I can, I’m not going to grow anymore that ship sailed a long time ago!

Despite our age difference I was left no choice but to resort to the secret weapon..our mum who is shorter than me but scary as hell! 😀

Returning to work after maternity leave

As you know I have two nephews both under the age of 4. My sister is a working mum and is due to return back to work next week after maternity leave. After having nephew #1, there were no problems with my sister coming back to work on flexi hours so she could pick her son up from nursery on time.

This time round was a completely different matter.

Both boys will be in nursery three times a week with my mum and the mother in law looking after the boys for the remaining two days. Sister submitted her request for flexi hours, this was rejected. So she submitted an alternative flexi hour request which enabled her to leave early on the days to pick up the boys from nursery and make up the hours on the remaining days. This request was also rejected on the basis that my sister would need to be ‘visible’ in the office. This reason was given after HR said she would be client facing and needs to be in the office, bearing in mind that in all her time of working at this company she has not ever client faced, her role does not involve client facing. In addition to this my sister’s hours have increased. HR has said they are reviewing everyone within the company’s flexi hours. Then back tracked saying they are not doing this.

With the aid of the internet and my own HR department, both me and my sister have been doing a bit of research of our own.

What I discovered is a company does not necessarily have to agree to the flexi hours request but they do have to provide a legitimate reason for why the request has been rejected.

If my sister wasn’t going through this situation with her company I doubt I would have found half the information I have.  Despite procedures in place it is surprising how many working mothers have faced similar problems when returning to work. The way some companies react to a member of staff with a young child, with 1 in 7 pregnant working mums are made redundant after maternity leave. Something I found surprising, especially as the UK is meant to be all modern and moving with the times.  A woman didn’t suddenly develop a terminal illness, she is simply had a child.

There are groups out there to help working mums know their rights. A company does not necessarily have to agree to the flexi hours request but they do have to provide a legitimate,  reason for why the request has been rejected.

As in the case of my sister and many other working mums walking out of their job is not always an option. If you feel you have been unfairly treated there are groups out there who can help you. They will advise you of both you and your employer’s rights and what your options are.

Through an article written on the online Guardian website I came across the website Maternity Action.

‘Maternity Action works to end inequality and promote the health and well-being of all pregnant women, their partners and children from before conception through to the child’s early years. ‘

Through speaking with my company’s HR I found out my sisters company can increase her working hours, but was advised that my sister should also speak with the group ACAS.

Acas (Advisory, Conciliation and Arbitration Service) aims to improve organisations and working life through better employment relations.

Based on the information my sister provided ACAS believed her company had not followed the correct procedure regarding her return to work. As a result she had grounds to submit a grievance. My sister is in two minds about doing this as she is concerned about the repercussions.

Outcome, sister has spoken with her manager again who has been explaining the department is struggling with staff shortages and an increase in workload. All of which was not mentioned in the previous two meeting that also involved HR.

My sister has agreed to go back to work doing her old hours which included leaving work early one day in the week, then resubmit a flexible request again later on in the year. Her husband is going to speak with his manager to try and be around for one nursery day, he does shift work so not sure how that will work. Rest of the time sister will have to rely on both sets of parents. She isn’t going to submit a grievance this time but I do think she needs to let the key players know she has spoken with ACAS and to inquire about the company’s grievance policy, plant the seed. 😉

Family and the Fajita Master!

Friday evening was cinema night with Housemates. We had been trying to plan so all three of us could go out have dinner and go see the latest Quentin Tarantino film Django.

After  what we were told would be a 15 minutes wait that turned in 30 mins we finally got a table at Nandos. My eyes were bigger than my stomach. Afterwards I couldn’t breath, and could just about move but I finished that meal. I did fancy a hot chocolate but I can be a bit fussy with these drinks and so far the only hot chocolate I like are the ones from the coffee shop Costa.

We had already bought our cinema tickets so seating wasn’t a problem. The film itself was everything you would expect from Quentin Tarantino; blood, violence and then more blood and violence! The story line was good but there was a lot of focus on the blood & violence, some parts were quite graphic and I’m not ashamed to say I did close my eyes during the more brutal scenes.

Saturday I was up early, Sorted out some things with youngest brother, married sister phoned to see if I wanted to go see our other brother. My sister had an ulterior motive for going to visit our brother. Nephew #1 hair has grown a life and personality of it’s own-problem; nephew #1 is terrified of having his hair cut. Don’t know why but he refuses to get his hair cut by anyone. The plan was if he sees his uncle having his hair cut then maybe he would be encouraged to do the same.Everything was ok till it came to nephew #1 turn, the cheeky monster climbed into his pushchair and buckled himself in ready to leave the shop! Walking back to brothers flat we passed a few other hairdresser’s and I tried to cajole nephew #1  into having his hair cut, he clearly had given up saying ‘no’ and simply took to ignoring me! Sister may try the hairdresser I go to, though I’m not holding my breath she will be anymore successful. Sister dropped me off home were Housemate #2 was preparing to make fajita’s for us. (I’m spoiled by my housemates) I provided the meat, though not overly religious I try to stick to eating halal. The food turned out excellent! Hence HM #2 earning her name as the ‘Fajita Master’. 😀

Dinner was followed by chocolate fudge cake..I felt like a oompa loompa after eating everything but it was so worth it!

Sunday, I treated myself, Dad had given me a gift voucher at Xmas so I bought a handbag! Then treated myself to some new clothes :-D. Normally I only get my eyebrows threaded, ladies who have to do this will understand, normally I’ll wax my upper lip at home. This time I also go it threaded…omg! I was pleased with the end result, I wasn’t cut either but still the pain..omg!

After my torture session the plan was to go home, paint my nails then go see a friend. Things didn’t work out like that. I was just about to return a missed call from my married sister when her husband phoned asking to try to get hold of my sister as he was at work. She had phoned him thinking someone had tried to break into the car as all the windows had been wound down. I managed to get hold of my sister who had phoned the police and they were there when I arrived at her house. My dad and her mother in law were also there. Long story short, there was no car break in. Whilst speaking to some of the neighbors  the police discovered there is a feature with the Vauxhall models, if you press the button on the car keys for a period of time the windows will automatically wind themselves down. My sister didn’t know about this feature.She can only think it happened when one of the kids were playing with the keys. Feeling a little bit embarrassed my sister was relieved to know that at least no one had attempted to break into the car, especially as it was parked on her drive. Plus note Nephew #2 took two more steps, bringing him up to 4. Being optimistic he could be walking by his 1st birthday which is in a few weeks. 🙂

February 2012 I skidded on black ice and crashed my car into a tree. Fortunately I wasn’t too far from work and I wasn’t hurt. Some guys from work had to pull my car out of the ditch  my car was stuck in. I had the essentials repaired. This week I have had to get the grill, bumper and a new license plate on my car sorted out, before the entire grill decides to separate itself from the rest of my car! Luckily a friend at work is able to give me a lift to and from work, so I will be chauffeur driven for a few days. 😀